Let's start with Ducatis. Throw in the experiences of a returnee motorcyclist, traveller and photographer, who also happens to be an IAM Observer and RoSPA Gold holder, stir in opinion with tongue firmly in cheek and step back. Et voila! Bon appetit, mes braves...

AA: Absolutely Abominable

March 08, 2011

I had to curtail a ride today due to a nail in my front tyre - with it going from 36psi to 10psi in 3 miles, I wasn't going to get thirty miles home unaided. Called the AA (via Ducati Assistance) from Springkerse. Three hours later they turned up, with a truck with a comedy bike attachment that hung off a piece of wire and looked like one of the ore carts that Indiana Jones used to get chased through mines in. Rather less comedy when the guy was fiddling around with the securing straps and the bike promptly tipped sideways out of the device and onto the ground. Result: mirror; bar end; hand guard, pillion peg/hanger, pannier mount and, best of all, gouging one of Marchesini's finest forged alloy wheels on the way. Just as well I wasn't wearing my shiny new Observer's jacket at that point - I would have brought the IAM into serious disrepute.

0/10 also to J K motorcycles in Stirling for being "too busy" to help, despite my being 400 metres from them. 10/10 though to Strathearn Tyres in Crieff, who stayed open until I finally turned up then fixed the problem promptly and efficiently - they even managed to have a spare Diablo Rosso Corse on standby in case the nail had caused internal damage to the tyre. And a big fat kick in a very sensitive place to the bloody AA, who were, in timing, design and execution, culpably useless.

Multistrada 1200S 4/4: Faults, Foibles & Thoughts

August 27, 2010

Nothing's perfect and any new product is going to have its share of things that either need fixing for existing customers or improving for future versions – the test for the manufacturer being how openly and clearly they respond to problems. The Multistrada is no exception here, so herewith my nags and niggles for Ducati:

• The Pannier Lids: While the panniers are well designed for the most part (particularly the handles and locks), it's mildly annoying that the cutout for the exhaust in the right pannier prevents it from taking a full-face lid (something fixed by the optional wider lids). What's a lot more annoying is that the lids themselves are, frankly, pants: there's a 3-4mm gap twixt lid and body at the front, into which the rain does pour. Not good, but Ducati have acknowledged the problem and claim to be working on a fix.
• The Centre Stand. Presumably in an attempt to provide the maximum leverage for getting a fully-laden 'Strada onto the stand, Ducati have made the stand's arm far too long: it fouls the rider's left foot and pushes the stand down, causing it to ground out far too early. And, if you're like me and ride with the balls of your feet on the pegs, as the pace rises and you put more weight on your feet, the stand gets pushed down further and grounds out more readily the faster you go. Not a good combination. Again, an acknowledged problem and we're waiting for a fix.
• The Termignoni Carbon Slip-On Exhaust (official Ducati accessory): The heat shield for this bulges out so much that it's impossible to place your right foot properly on the footrest. It also fouls the centrestand spring, pushing the stand down and causing it to bounce against the bike when riding. Ducati have already issued a redesigned replacement heat shield and I'm just waiting for mine to arrive.
• Low-rpm surging: I've mentioned this above and some bikes seem to suffer more than others. I've not been particularly plagued by this, but there is a new software map to install, so at least some attempt has been made to address this.
• Pillion Position: this gives me an occasional speed-related pain in the kidneys. Nothing to do with the comfort but with the fact that the step up to the passenger perch means that my beloved can easily see the speedo. Ignorance used to be bliss…

And that's about it: the encouraging thing being that all real problems have been acknowledged by Ducati, so we'll wait and see what they actually do about it. There are a couple of other warranty tweaks to be done, but nothing that's affecting the use or ability of the machine.

Multistrada 1200S 3/4: The Alternatives

Comparisons may well be odious but I'm not about to let that stop me: as I've ridden recent examples of some of the bikes with whose market footprints the Multistrada overlaps, here goes with a few highly personal observations, starting with the much-loved R1200GS. And here there's one thing to get absolutely clear: if you want real off-road ability, buy a GS (1200 or 800) or a KTM with their larger front wheels – the Multistrada with its 17" front wheel and more road-biased tyres is not a serious off-road machine. That said, it does fine in Enduro mode on forestry tracks, but then most things do, as those of us who followed, sheep-like, a club mate’s GPS down a French mountain bike track a few years ago discovered.

There's also been a lot of speculation online about the cost of even a trivial off-road drop on the Ducati – whereas a GS will simply land on its cylinder heads (most of the time), the Ducati will go right down on its side unless the panniers are attached. So, In my unending quest to bring enlightenment and knowledge to the world, I have taken one more tiny step towards Zen mastery, Grasshopper, and can confirm that it is in fact possible to drop the Multistrada off-road and suffer precisely no damage: Turning around on a local forest track, I ran out of steering lock (which is in fact very good) and decided to hop off to back 'er up, only to discover that, being in Enduro mode, the ground was further away than I thought. A lot further away – the bike went past its balance point, at which point whether or not it's 20kg lighter than a GS became entirely moot – it's a big, tall bike, and it was gone. Having convinced a couple of passing deer that very bad-tempered bears had been reintroduced to the Highlands, I hauled it back upright. Not a single, solitary scratch, scrape or ding. Relieved, impressed and relieved, in that order.